Sex Education or Fiction?
I was talking to a friend on the phone, and we were discussing using erotic romances to "instruct" girls young than 18 on sex.
As a writer of hot romances, my vote is, WHAT THE HELL??? Excuse me, but when I write my books, I'm thinking of women, not girls, reading them. They are FICTION, not real life and certainly not sex education.
Do I object to girls under 18 reading the books? It's not my call. That is why they have PARENTS. I don't think I get a vote. Period. If a parent says to me that they don't want their underage daughter reading my books because of sexual content, I'd respect that.
Now for a little side rant--I do think we have skewed priorities when parents freak out more over sex than violence, but that's just me.
My personal view of parenting is that kids should be taught to deal with life in slow increments as they grow. And they should be given the tools to make good decisions. And parents had better have the tools (parenting skills) to help their kids when they make bad decisions because they will. We all do. The mark of character is how a person deals with bad decisions, in my opinion.
But back to underage girls and sex. It's up to the parents, but I would in no way suggest that erotic romances will teach girls what they need to know. Because IT'S FICTION. Real life is much more complicated.
So what's your opinion?
posted by Jennifer at 8:12 AM
6 Comments:
Oh Lordy, never ever! For one thing, not everybody has a screaming orgasm every single time they have sex and for another - the fist time you "do it" can be (and is for many women) painful. It's a wonder we ever "do it" again LOL
I see no harm in young adults reading "hot" romance novels or erotic romance (Erotica is another story. Personally I'd be a bit uncomfortable letting any teen of mine read in that sub genre but to each her own). I read some pretty gory mysteries as a teen and I turned out OK. I mean, I'm not a drug fiend or career criminal :)
Like you said, this is the job of the parent. Certainly teens read adult fiction all the time, but it's not the author's job to monitor that. It's the author's job to write for their perceived audience and for many writers that audience is primarily "adult."
What's that Wendy? You're mising out on the screaming orgasm? LOL! In real life--that's a good way to scare our partner into a heart attack!
I love the first time scenarios where it hurts then suddenly turns into intesnse pleasure. That's realistic :-)
Great points, thanks Wendy!
While I don't think it should be condoned for young and mid teens even, it is a good opening for mother daughter discussion, when hmmm, say mom happens to discover, errr maybe a copy of Lady Chatterly's Lover stashed under the bed. I mean who knew mom's checked for dust bunnies? The problem was I knew more than my mom. So sad. On both accounts.
I think one important job for a parent is to make their reader realize that it is fiction, a romantised version of life's possiblitites. Thinking that it is a reality can lead to a lot of disgruntled females. Well at least if my experiences are, well, er, say normal.
Ah yes, great sex every time... bells ringing, fireworks exploding! This is fiction, people. the problem, I think, is that when young women read our books, they're taking it for reality...
WE, however, know better!
I wouldn't have a problem with my daughter reading romance books when she gets a few years older, (she's only 11), but I would never let her get her sexual education from them, that's just dumb. Not to mention would be a terrible lie.
Do you ever wonder if men read these kinds of books? If they do, do you think it gives them a complex?
ktzmom, that's a great question! My husband reads my books, and far as I know, they don't give him a complex. He knows they are fiction, but like I know that perfect thighs and hair are fiction...LOL!
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