Dogs, Exercise and Why Me?

This just hasn't been my week to exercise. I dragged my butt to the gym and pulled something in my neck/back. Very minor and it's mostly stopped hurting now.

I've also been walking. It's my dumbass New Year's Resolution and I've been pretty good about it. This week I only walked twice. The cold, the pulled muscle--it's like someone is trying to tell me something.

But it's my New Years Resolution so I ignored it all and went for a walk. I live in a hilly area, so I walked all the way down to the bottom of a hill when I encountered this friendly little Lhaso Apso. Really cute, he stayed on the sidewalk but he wanted to follow me. I switched my walking route to avoid going out on the busy main street because I was afraid the dog would follow me and get hit.

The dog went home. So far so good. So I loop through the track and out to the main street and hike up the hill. I make it to the top corner--you know the place where you know the worst is over? I round the corner and I'm back in the track and almost home.

I'm like those stable horses people rent to go riding--can't want to get back to my stable and get the idiot (exercise) off my back. So I trot along (okay walk), passing houses on my right and watching parents drop kids off at the elementary school across the street.

Suddenly, I hear a ferocious barking/growing and see a HUGE black dog leap at me. Swear to God, the dog flew in the air right toward me from the front yard of some one's house. My heart exploded in my chest. All I could think was I AM DOG MEAT. I'm not afraid of dogs, in fact I'm a big dog lover. Not this Dog. This dog is Cujo from Stephen King's book. It's leaping at me in a foaming fury of teeth and muscle.

Until the blue leash he's tied to yanks him back to the ground. I hadn't seen the leash on the dog, just the big black monster with teeth. The dog struggles against the leash, snapping, growling and barking. I crossed the street and made it around the corner.

What the hell are these people thinking tying this dog up in the front yard across from an elementary school. I've probably walked by there 40 times and never seen that dog. Nor have I seen kids doing anything in their yard. And even if they wanted to deter kids from their house--what the hell were they thinking? Ripping out a kid's throat?

Anyway I'm less than a block from home, when I swear I am not making this up, ANOTHER DOG attacks me. This one is just a little guy, wet and muddy and he's jumping all over me for attention. He just wants to be friends.

I finally managed to untangle myself from the way-too-happy dog and get in my house.

I'm telling you, exercise is dangerous!

Mood Detector

My sister sent me this joke:

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings,

bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be

able to monitor my moods.

We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it

turns green and when I'm in a bad mood, it leaves

a big frickin' red mark on his forehead. Maybe next

time he'll buy me a diamond.

I don't know why I laughed since I saw the punch line coming. I'm easily entertained!

I Blame the GYM!

My logic...

I have a cold. I didn't go to the gym last night because I have a cold. And naturally I have treated my cold with homemade chocolate chips cookies (doesn't everyone?)

So clearly the GYM is to blame for my big butt.

I'm pretty sure I got the blasted cold from the gym, which caused me to skip the gym and consume medicinal amounts of cookies.

It's the GYM's FAULT!

Right? Am I right????

I Married a Smart Man

We're driving to the gym and I'm plotting in my head. I turned to my husband and said, "Remember that movie Something About Mary, how everyone loved Mary?"

"Uh huh."

Good to know he's paying attention and hangs on my every word. But I keep going. "My heroine is like that. Men keep falling in love with her, but when the hero first sees her, he can't figure it out. I mean men have done outrageous things to get her attention. She's attractive, but it's average attractiveness. So what is it about her?"

Dead serious, he said "BLEEP" Sorry I had to bleep his first answer. Men!

"Why didn't I think of that," I said dryly. "Now that you've gotten all the required Stupid Man Answer out of the way. What, besides being sizzling hot, attracts a man? I'm thinking the way she moves? Her voice? What is it?" I sighed. "You probably don't know because it's just there without you labeling it."

Without even a pause, he says, "It's the fantasy."

I blinked. Well hell, he's right. One Hundred Percent Right. It's the fantasy!

Damn I married a smart man!

Happy Endings...

When the hero dies, it's not a happy ending.

Right?

I just finished a book this morning where the hero dies in the end. Being me--I naturally read the third book in a trilogy and hadn't read the first two. I didn't even know it was a trilogy until I went on Amazon and looked.

Duh.

In my defense, it's a book my sister gave me. I recognized the author's name as an up and comer so I read it. I seriously have to pay more attention to what I'm doing.

Anyway--folks on Amazon were ANGRY about the ending. Me? Not so much. I didn't mind the hero dying. Romance, in my (fictional) view, transcends death, especially in a paranormal. But the majority of people don't like it. They feel cheated. They like to close to the book and feel like the characters live on.

My husband and I fight about this all the time. He's a bloodthirsty guy and is always trying to get me to kill off my main characters. "Be bold, be different!" he says.

"I want to be employed," I say and do my best to keep them alive.

So what do you all think? Is it a romance if the hero or heroine dies?

By the way, I KNOW I'm a blogging slacker!