Happy Valentine's Day

I have mixed feelings about these Greeting Card Holidays. I see all the diamond commercials and I think, "Oh come on! Women have unrealistic expectations!"

Then this morning I saw on the news that the number one gift on men's Valentine's Day Wish List is an iPod. LOLOL!!

I guess love does have a dollar value!

But not always: Last night I had a headache. Just a stupid headache. After dinner, my husband got up and told me he would do the dishes while I go rest.

Now that is priceless!

Happy Valentine's Day!

I'm Not So Tough...

My new favorite song on my iPod is OCEAN OF NOISE by Arcade Fire. I love that song!

Yesterday I went to my doctor and whined about the tendonitis in my right elbow. How is it that I have tennis elbow when I haven't picked up a tennis racket in two decades? Anyhow, my doctor is great and didn't even suggest I stay off the computer.

The man is a realist. Telling me to stay off the computer is like telling me not to breathe.

Anyway, he suggested a cortisone shot. Sure! I want that! Give it to me!

Idiot.

See I have a fairly high pain tolerance. I knew I can handle the shot. Plus my doctor is really good. So the shot was fine, hardly hurt.

The rest of the day my elbow and arm hurt like a bitch. (Sorry!) I had five straight hours free to write but I couldn't do it. All I could manage was answering some email (where I whined to everyone who would listen) then sitting on the couch and reading. And much as I love to read, I felt guilty for not writing.

However, I got up this morning and the elbow is a little better.

Still--teach me to think I'm tough, right? It felt a lot like God smacked me and said, "Get over yourself woman!"

I'm over myself.

And now for a Friday laugh, here's a joke a friend sent to me:


To Be 6 Again...

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking
at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what
she'd like to have for her Birthday.

'I'd like to be six again', she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big
bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day!

He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear,
the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was
reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with
extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite
candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her
husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big
smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being six again??'

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. 'I meant
my dress size, you dumb ass!'

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he's gonna get it
wrong.

Music and Fear

Thanks guys, for your song suggestions!

Erica I love KEEP THE CAR RUNNING! You've told me about the song twice before I went over and bought it. I'm a slow learner, but eventually I catch on.

While playing on iTunes, I found the perfect song for my witch hunters: ANIMAL I HAVE BECOME by Three Days Grace. I'm so excited! I don't listen to the newer music a lot, but I've taken to playing on iTunes if I get my work done for the day. It's really fun and sort of clears my mind. The song is really cool.

My first draft is about 3/4s done. This book is just sort of unfolding. There's a lot of work, a lot of stopping and working on plot/character motivations, but it's not feeling forced. I am really trying to go with that, and not let the fear get to me. I am a big reviser so I can fix anything. But normally this first draft is a killer.

But man, I can feel that fear lurking, just waiting for that break in my self confidence to slip into my brain and torment me.

This is where the music comes in. Most of the time, I write to silence, listening to the voices in my head. But when I feel that fear (of failure, of being stupid, of writing a sucky books, of the snarky reviewers...fear encompasses a great deal for me), I put on my iPod and drown it out. It seems to really work for me!

How do you all control the fear? Or is it just me?