Excerpt from Interview with Professor Regina Parker
“Is it true you know the Urban Legend? Is he as hot as
everyone says?”
“I thought we were going to talk about the Jade Goddesses
of Fertility and Virility. The statues are at least five
centuries old and have a fascinating legend of sex, love, and
murder. Once you see them, you’ll feel their power.”
“Sex, love, and murder, wow. That sounds like something
that would attract the Urban Legend’s attention. Has he seen
the statues?”
(Audible sigh) “No, he’s been too busy treasure hunting and
honing his reputation as a sex legend. Now can we talk about
the statues? I will be taking the statues on tour . . .”
“How do you know he’s honing his reputation as a sex
legend? Have you had, uh, personal experience?”
(Bigger sigh) “No, back to the statues, they were carved by
a powerful sorcerer to set up meetings with the woman he loved
but could never have. They used the statues to pass messages
of where and when to meet to conduct a passionate affair.”
“Oh my, how romantic.”
“Indeed. As best we can tell, the Jade Goddesses of
Fertility and Virility came from the Aztecs. They had a highly
structured society based on religion, magic, and science. A
society that prevented two star-crossed lovers from being
together. The powerful sorcerer would not be denied, however,
and he carved the statues out of two pieces of jade, including
the traditional oblong space for a jade heart. But when he
crafted the hearts to fill the oblong space, he made them
hollow. The two lovers communicated by leaving messages inside
the hearts to set up clandestine meetings.”
“They wrote notes to each other?”
“They didn’t have the same written language we have today.
We believe they left markers of some kind inside the hearts
that indicated a place and time—perhaps gems, locks of hair,
who knows? It’s quite romantic to consider, until, of course,
the tragedy struck.”
“Tragedy? What happened? Were the lovers caught?”
“Infinitely worse. Someone stole the hearts of the
goddesses, and the legend goes that the two lovers died
instantly.”
“That’s horrible. But how could such a thing happen?”
“Because the man who carved the statues was a sorcerer, and
the two hearts were crafted with the blood of their love. It’s
said the statues have been looking for their deepest desire
ever since then. Even today, the power of the statues lives
on. They bring out people’s deepest desire, deepest lust.”
“What does that mean exactly? If someone like the Urban
Legend came in contact with these statues, he’d get even more
sex? That wouldn’t really be anything extraordinary, would
it?”
(Pause) “It would depend on what the Urban Legend’s deepest
desire is. What he really lusts for.”
“Hmm, you might want to guard those statues carefully,
Professor. A lot of women may want to steal them to seduce the
Urban Legend.” (Shuffling, clearing of throat) “Or maybe some
woman out there thinks she can use the statues to catch the
Urban Legend permanently. Now that would be extraordinary.”
(Academic sniff) “The statues aren’t a matchmaking service,
they are an exceptional and exquisite piece of history with a
fascinating and provocative legend.”
